Please Remember Me
by NewEyes
Summary: After Bella jumps off the cliff, she hits her head under water and loses all memory of her love for Edward and all she once knew. Please review!
1. Prologue

**Prologue:**

I remember the jump. The harsh winds whipping in my face, shoving sharp hair in my eyes before piercing them mercilessly with the cold air of Forks. I remember the loud, smack of my back as I hit the water below me. My bones iced over upon impact as the murderous waves pulled me under and held me there no matter how hard I forced my feeble limps to struggle. I remember a face, so perfect and gorgeous. But it was mad, its eyebrows pulled together, lips in a thin dangerous line, eyes begging, begging me to fight harder. But the weight of the water was tremendous and I no longer had the strength to fight even if I did have to will to keep going. I just wasn't strong enough. I was only human.

I remember the flaming body heat that sent my frigid skin ablaze. It was a huge contrast from the body of ice I was hauled out of. I felt myself being picked up with such ease, as if my rescuer had the strength of a thousand men, and I was nothing more than a feather. I remember the pressure on my stomach that felt like rocks were slamming into me, the begging for me to breathe. The voice was rough and thick, as if he would be crying too if he allowed himself to break down. I felt the water being forced up my throat and spurt from my mouth, coughing that caused my chest to ache. The pain it took to breathe almost made me wonder if it was even worth it. Did I need to live? Why?

I remember opening my eyes to a scared and frantic face. But I looked closer, blinking sea water out of my eyes…I had no clue who was standing over me, calling me Bella over and over as he asked me if I could hear him. His voice was muffled and nearly mute by the water blocking the sound waves from my ear drums. But I think I heard him correctly the fifth time he said the name again. _Bella._ Who is Bella? Is that me?


	2. Amnesia

**Chapter One: Amnesia **

The waves, crushing one by one over my body in a cruel, chilling cycle will always be a feeling I will never forget. I spit up the rest of the salt water blocking the oxygen from my lungs and cough, causing my chest to ache in screaming agony.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me? God, what were you thinking?" I managed a glance at my hero, and winced through the water still stinking my eyes. He was huge and muscular, topless, and very hot. His tan skin seemed more on the reddish brown side, hair cropped short and soaked from the recent swim. His features were hard and rough, like coal and burned with its temperature. But as I blinked, I saw deeper, past the tough interior he was trying to pull. His eyes were scared and frantic, his lips were white from fear, since I doubt he was cold in the slightest. He was shaking. Trembling. Or was that me? "Bella?" He asked again. I coughed again, finding my voice though my mouth was raw.

"Why…why do you keep calling me that?" My voice was harsh and hoarse, throat screaming at me for not letting it agonize in its pain in peace.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?" Comprehension hit him before I could utter another word, thankfully. My throat felt as if I had swallowed whole lumps of coal. "Do...do you remember anything?" I shook my head. One of his hands clenched into a fist as he punched the sand beneath us in anger. A massive amount of sand stuck to his fist when he withdrew, from the impact. "Damn it."

I didn't know what to say. I was shaking from the merciless cold and couldn't get my lips to stop trembling enough to voice the words that were already formed in my head. I wanted to ask him who he was, who I was, and why I had been on that cliff, why had I jumped? I remember the feeling of pure pain and depression as I fell through the air, hopelessness as I lost the light, the meaning of life. But as soon as the feeling hit me, the roaring waves washed it from my memory, accompanied by a hit on the head against an actual rock I didn't see coming.

"Come on. I have to get you home, Charlie will be worried." Suddenly the ground wasn't under me anymore and I began to panic. "Relax Bella; I'm just carrying you to your car okay? You scared me shitless you know." His voice had grown soft as he nearly whispered the last thing. I blinked, pushing away the never-ending questions. Why was he so concerned about me? Had we met? Did he love me or something?

I hadn't moved an inch, nor noticed our surroundings reduce to blurs. But he was running at full speed to god knows where. He hugged me tightly to his chest, stationing me perfectly so I couldn't even feel the bumps and hills he was running over. It scared me he could run so fast, faster than any normal human was capable of.

I shivered and his arms pulled me closer, muscles tightening. His body heat was hotter than a sauna; the warmth was irresistible and comforting. I wound my fragile arms around his neck, pressing myself closer, absorbing the relief of his scorching skin.

Then the thought occurred to me. _How can he be so hot? Was this normal? _

"Hang in there Bella." It dawned on me; I had no clue who I was hanging onto.

It seemed like minutes later I was nestled in a cozy blanket, that was pathetic compared to the human heater sitting beside me, in the passenger seat while he took the wheel. His foot hit the gas. I would have jerked forward if it weren't for his other arm, wrapped tightly around me.

"Who…who are you?" I ignored the pain in my throat and looked up at him, moving my dripping hair out of my face. The look he gave me was a cross between hurt and truly concerned.

"Jake, your best friend, slash slave for eternity and resident shape shifter, pleasure to meet you." His voice had an edge to it and I flinched. His arms caressed my slight unease. "Sorry," he muttered. "It's not your fault. You must've hit your head and developed amnesia."

I froze, replaying one word over and over in my head. "Shape shifter?" He blew out a breath, not realizing when I had told him I remembered nothing, I meant _nothing_. I saw the confliction cross his eyes as he debated with himself, how much I could handle before I was completely overwhelmed.

"We'll cross that bridge again when we get to it." He said nothing else on the subject so I buried my blue face into the blanket, resting my head against his shoulder. I felt the tilt of his head as he laid his cheek on the top of my head for a moment before focusing on the road ahead of us.

"Who is Charlie?" He sighed heavily, hand gripping the steering wheel. I felt a few tremors as I clung to him.

"Your father. You moved to Forks to be with him because you wanted your mother to be free to travel with that other dude she's married to." I couldn't help but notice the words were forced yet softly spoken. "Just smile and me do all the talking when he sees you, okay? No need for Charlie to have a heart attack." I nodded, saying nothing else.

The red, rusty truck we were in whined and complained about the miles he was forcing it to travel. The truck looked about a week from landing in the junkyard, it was a miracle at all it ran this smoothly. Something pecked at my memory, something about this truck…but I lost the thought just as quickly as it made itself known. The roar and cry of the engine stopped abruptly, mixed with the rattling of keys. I looked beside to see an empty space. The door to my side is opened and I jump slightly from the scare.

"Relax Bells, it's just me. Charlie. Your father." The added description suggested Jake had already told him about my amnesia. He held his hand out for me but the atmosphere of the house was neither familiar nor welcoming. I searched my surroundings frantically.

"Jake…Jake.." The hand dropped, relocating to a position on his hips.

"He's in the house. Jake!" Moments later Jake emerged from the house and exchanged looks with Charlie. Sighing, he walked towards me and took me into his arms without saying a word.

"Don't…don't leave me…please." The words felt as if I had spoken them before, they sounded as if I was begging. I caught the small smile play at his lips as he kissed my forehead.

"I'm here Bella. Don't worry." I memorized those words as I clung to him so there was no way I would forget. I didn't want to be alone. Something in me, broken and missing important pieces, didn't want to be alone. Not now, not ever. I know I lost something, something big enough for me to attempt suicide, if that was what I was even doing. I couldn't handle losing anything else. Not even something I don't remember having.

He carried me upstairs and into a room that looked as if it belonged to a thirty year old woman. There weren't any pictures, books, or music posters up. Just plain walls. Lifeless. But the feeling I got, the pain of loss. I wondered if there once was life in this room, if maybe what mattered was stolen from it. Jake laid me on the bed, but I refused to release the hold I had around his neck, pulling together my strength. He sighed again.

"Bella, you need to rest. I'm not going anywhere." But my muscles and limbs deliberately hung on, not believing his words. Just words, something told me. Words mean nothing.

"Please…don't leave me…" He looked at me for a really long time. His eyes flashed with recognition and he nodded his head slowly, climbing under the covers beside me. Automatically, I close the space between us and rest my head on his chest, his arm wound around me, pulling me closer though I know he was battling himself in his mind.

I couldn't help but think…I couldn't help but wonder…had I done this with someone else?


	3. Mystery

Chapter Two: Mystery  
I woke up to screaming. My screaming. I didn't know why I was screaming, or what was causing me such incredible pain every time I closed my eyes. If it hadn't been for my heart pounding with the fury of an animal trying to beat its way out of its cage; my chest moving up and down, up and down rapidly; my huffing and panting, trying to get oxygen to my suffocating lungs-I wouldn't have even thought it was me having the mental breakdown. I shivered from the cold.

My window was open. And the air was merciless. I wrapped my arms tightly around me as if I could protect myself from the unwelcomed breeze. My eyes scoped the area and I nearly hyperventilated when I realized I was by myself.

"No…No…Jake! Jacob! Jake!" I couldn't calm myself down, I couldn't relax. He said he wasn't going anywhere. He promised to hold me. And he wasn't here. _He wasn't here._ My voice was frantic, shaky and very scared as it jumped a few octaves. "Jake!"

The door opened and Jacob rushed in so fast his entire form was reduced to a colorless blur; one second he was by the door, the next he was in front of me, so close I could see every single speck of brown in his beautiful and frightened eyes.

"What? What is it Bella? Are you okay?" I instantly pulled him on the bed by his arm and grasped for dear life, nothing short of the jaws of life could pry my hands away from him.

"You..you..left." I nearly choked on the words. He looked at me for a long time again, before eyes flashing with that same recognition. He took a deep, long breath before pulling me into his embrace.

"I was just outside talking to Sam, Bella. I didn't leave you. I promised." He kissed my hair. "You're so needy. You could have woken up Charlie." I hugged myself to his bare chest, his skin burned my flesh but I didn't budge nor complain in fear he'd move me. I just wanted him here. In my arms. With me.

"Bella…you were screaming.." He pulled back a bit so he could look into my eyes. My fingers were inseparable, intertwined at his lower back, making it impossible for him to pull away too far. I didn't want him two feet from me, or 6 inches for that matter. I gasped when I my chest ached, feeling the pain in his eyes. Pain and Love. He was hurting, something was hurting him so much he had to bit his lip in order to keep his composure. Apparently, me screaming was a splash of cold water in his face. Though his expression looked as though he had been slapped.

"What's wrong?" I asked, tightening my hold. He sighed, averting his gaze before making eye contact again.

"You still miss him don't you?" I didn't have the slightest clue to what he was talking about. Him? I looked at him blankly; mind whirling and shuffling through buried thoughts but none was comprehensible. It was as if someone had stolen all my memories and transferred them to gibberish, leaving no subtitles or translations.

"Him?" His face hardened, teeth clenching, jaw tightening; and his eyes were black with hatred. I flinched from his speechless, uninterrupted glare. I could feel the rage building within him, bubbling explosively. He was trying to tame it, fighting with himself. There was a slight tremor before he was able to get himself under control.

He practically had to force his lips to part so his tongue could shove out the word, "Edward."

_Edward._ The pain in my chest was pulsating but I couldn't figure out why. Edward. I had never heard that name, at least not to my limited recollection. Was he a friend? Relative? Edward seemed so old fashioned. Was he my grandfather? I twirled the name around over, and over but no description or thought provided any assistance. I came up blank.

Jake's face softened with confusing relief when he whispered, "You don't remember him do you?", his voice was lighter with a sense of hope that didn't register. What was he so hopeful for?

I shook my head. "No. Who is he?"

"Nobody now." He shifted to where he was laying down with me on top of him, locked with his embrace, hands together solidly at my lower back. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent; nature, trees, rain, pine needle and woodsy all in an irresistible mixture I couldn't get enough of.

_Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward_. Nothing…

"Bella?" I didn't move, too content in my position. I felt so warm and so protected, loved.

"Yes Jake?" There was silence for a moment and I listened to the soundtrack of the world outside my window. The crickets chirped happily in search of their perfect mate, owls sung their nightly tune in a sense of nothing better to do with their time. I saw the moonlight shine onto my purple, not periwinkle comforter, lighting the room with its brilliance. I tune back to Jake who is still thinking carefully about his next words.

"Do you…remember…what I am?" I was stumped.

"I thought you were my best friend."

"I am, Bella. I will always be there for you. I want you to know that…but…" His words come to a halt and his body tenses, forcing me to grit my teeth and finally look up at him. He looked as if he was being strangled and I grew alarmed.

"Jake?"

"It's okay Bells…I just…have this secret to keep…" He stopped again. This secret was hurting him. I could see it in the way he squeezed his eyes shut and gulped hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. There was struggle and hurt in his features and every glance ripped at me. So I hurried to shove the pain away.

"Then keep it. You don't have to tell me anything that you're not suppose to." That only seemed to make him the more frustrated.

"But Bella-" More pain. His eyebrows scrunched together this time and I winced.

"I mean it Jake. I rather be in the dark than see you in this much…agony. Please." His eyes meet mine. I ignored the longing and begging in his irises and focused on the other facial features that were screaming at me. After a while of just heavy breathing and unbreakable eye contact. He nods slowly and reluctantly.

"Okay.." I laid my head back on his chest and his fingers play my hair. I had no clue what it was that he wanted to tell me so badly, but what ever it was didn't want to be revealed so soon and somehow…deprived him of his right of free speech. He was physically bound to this unknown secret but as long as he didn't have that god awful, heart wrenching look of torment on his face, ripping us _both_ to shreds, I would be fine living in mystery.

Maybe I had gotten amnesia for a reason.


	4. Attached

Chapter Three: Attached  
Jake was there when I woke up. The comfort and security that brought me was unbelievable. I could feel the ache in my chest with each passing minute but was at a loss on why I was in such pain. Something was pecking at the back of my mind; like I was telling myself what I had forgotten in a different language. But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't translate it.

My arms were clasped tightly on his muscular upper arm; so overwhelming it took both of my hands to hang onto him. And I did, as if being an inch away for a tenth of a second would deprive me of oxygen. My fingers were merged with his flaming flesh like a second layer of skin. I actually thought I was cutting off his circulation when he finally forced his eyelids back and looked down at me.

"Relax Bella, I'm not going anywhere." His voice stung with annoyance; this was the tenth time he's said this in the last 30 minutes. It was becoming a tiring chant.

"I'm sorry. I'm just..." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish that sentence. He looked down at me for a long time, eyes burrowing into mine, searching for something. His irises seemed to flash with anger so quick I questioned myself if I saw it at all. He closed his eyes and took a deep long breath. I watched him silently, waiting for him to exhale.

He finally kissed my hair and gently moved me so he could sit up. My heart started to race, each beat throbbing and my mind raced. He looked back at me and rolled his eyes, smiling slightly.

"I'm just going to talk to Charlie. I'll be right back, I promise." More empty promises I didn't know if I could trust. I forced myself to nod so I wouldn't get on his nerves and watched him leave, feeling my heart squeeze and the pain in my chest thunder threateningly.

It wasn't until I didn't have Jake's abnormal body heat that I realized I was sweating and shivering. My skin struggled to breathe through the thin sheet of sweat freezing over from the morning breeze flowing through the opened window. I had no idea why I let that window stay open. Why the mere thought of closing it, shutting off...something, pained me. That opened window gave a tiny, forgotten piece of me hope. Hope for what?

I heard voices from outside. Hushed, angry voices that had me straining to hear past the deaffening silence and natural noise of our surroundings. I recognized one voice automatically and my heart leaped in the air, breaking through the painful barrier around it. I jumped involuntarily and gasped, pressing a hand against my chest. I didn't know I had moved to just below the window until the voices got loud enough for me to hear with putting my eardrums into overdrive. I caught another voice something told me I should recognize. But I didn't.

"This is a chance to protect yourself." There was a harsh laugh. Jake's laugh. And it both shook me and calmed me at once.

"Protect myself from what? _Bella?_ Bella couldn't hurt a fly if she wanted to." He was acting as if the thought of me hurting him was amusing.

"She's friends with the cold ones."

"She doesn't remember them! And with them gone for good-she won't be able to tell them." There was a long pause before Jake's soft, vulnerable voice broke the silence. "Sam. Please." I bit my lip, feeling how exposed and raw he was, and knowing he never let anyone but Sam see him like that. He hated being weak.

The name _Sam_ tugged at my memory. He was intertwined with Jake, something made them different. Something made them frightening yet...not so surprising nor appauling. From one set of monsters to another.

_Cold ones._ Something about pale faces. I scrapped at my useless brain cells, trying to make the gibberish make sense. But nothing came to me. I had never been so frustrated.

"Wait to see if she can remember anything on her own." Sam's words seemed heavy, thick with authority and power. My fingers gripped the window sill as I lifted myself up, just enough for the tip of my head to thaw in the sunlight. My eyes laid on Sam and I starred at him. Sam was huge; not just big in muscle but tall and dark. His black hair was cropped short like Jake's and he had the same tattoo on his right shoulder, the same hard exterior only the confidence and finalty of a leader glowed from his pressance. It was only the pressure of my fingers, fighting against gravity with the window sill as their leverage that kept me from falling to the floor. I knew that face. I couldn't recall where I had seen Sam before or why I knew he had an unbreakable hold on Jake that he couldn't disobey. And it scared me that I knew what I didn't.

"And if she can't?" Jake was dubious, his tone was an inch from challenging. I saw that his fists were clenched at his sides. He looked up at Sam with both forced respect and a flicker of the anger I saw last night and earlier.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Sam glanced up and looked directly at me. I yelped and absentmindedly released my hold and fell back on my butt. I was shaking slightly, not sure of what was happening. I heard running feet, feet on the stairs, then Jacob's voice.

"Bella!" He picked up my trembling body with one arm and brought me into his blistering chest, wrapping the other arm me. He sighed, shaking his head at me. "Leave you alone for five minutes and you hurt yourself." I wound my arms around him, buring my face into his chest. His arms tightened as he whispered, his voice lit with amusement. "You're such a mess Bella."

"So..that was Sam?" Jake looked down at me, eyes hopeful yet cautious and guarded. We were sitting in the rocking chair that was in the corner of my room, me in his lap with his arms wrapped around me, holding me to him as he rocked gently back and forth. This felt wrong somehow. Like I had done this with someone else and it didn't really feel right with Jake.

"Do you remember him?"

"I...I remember seeing him.." The hope in his eyes dimmed as he comprehended what I was failing to say.

"But you don't know who he is?" I shook my head.

"Who is he?" He took a deep, forced breath as if he was trying to get through to me from the limits set upon him.

"He's-He-" His eyebrows merged in concentration and his muscles tightened. A wave of pain washed over his face then vanished. But the picture was in my mind and killing me.

"Nevermind," I blurted. "I don't want to know."

"Bella-"

"Jake stop. Please." He looked at me for a very long time again, still battling himself on it. He finally nodded and sighed heavily.

"What if...I tell you a story...tonight." I looked at him in confusion. A story? If it was going to get the pained look on his face out of my mind then I would agree to anything.

"A story is better." He smiled; the way his lips curled upward reflected a slight victory. I felt myself being moved but with such subtly that when I looked around, I was sitting on my bed with Jake standing in front of me. He was leaving again.

_No. No. No. _

"Bella, relax. I'll be back tonight before you go to bed." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, pulling himself away from my feeble grasp. "Try not to do anything stupid or reckless until I get back."

_Reckless._ Why did that word make me shiver? My mind was racing.

"Y...You're going with Sam....aren't you?" I was struggling to make my mouth work. He looked at me with sad, restrained eyes. His beautiful brown irises were frustrated to the point of black and no longer made me feel warm and secure.

"I don't have a choice. What Sam says, goes." There was a slight tremor until he had himself under control again. Something about his words, it was as if he was choosing each one carefully to trigger something. My mind was already going a million miles a minute. He squeezed his eyes and bit his lip. When he opened them again he resembled a dangerous wolf and growled furiously. I cringed and he saw me and calmed down, looking sorry. "I'm sorry." I didn't look up from my hands in fear I'd see that tormented expression that killed us both. My heart fell when I heard him jump out of my window, feet landing perfectly on the ground below.

My head shot up. He _jumped_. From a two story window...

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Please Review and leave criticism!! ! I promise to update more regularly :)


	5. Visitor

_Okay you guys, I'm so sorry I'm a day late. For some odd reason, wouldn't allow me to update the chapter. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this and it meets your standards(: Please Review!_

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**Chapter Four: Visitor**

"Bella!" I jumped with a jerk and landed on my butt against the hard floor; a thud echoed in the silence. My heart was pumping from the scare and I was trying to regulate my breathing as I calmed myself down. It had been a girl voice; a high pitch, fairy like girl voice that sang like wind chimes. I was stunned for a moment before I registered the figure standing in front of me, in my bedroom. She had short, kind of spiked brown hair, black strained eyes, pale skin that looked hard as rock; tremendously gorgeous. Otherworldly. And she was glaring down at me.

"How are you alive?" Her beautiful voice sounded scared and more shocked than I was. I looked at her with confusion, knowing I had seen her before, maybe in a past life-but I didn't know her now.

"H...How did you get in here? Who are you?!" I was growing scared and wanted to call for Jake. Just the thought of him taking me into his blazing arms made my chest ache. I wanted him.

"I came through the window." She said it as if it was obvious, like it was no big deal. I gapped at her. _The window? _The window Jake had jumped out of, landed on his feet and jogged away like it was nothing. The same window that was at least two hundred and fifty feet from the ground.

"J..Jake...Jake.." The sound was automatic. I couldn't help it. I had no clue who was in my room but my gut was telling me to be scared.

"Bella, it's me. Alice."

_Alice. Why did that mean something? Alice. Alice_. I shook my head and backed up as she advanced. Her pale skin illuminated in the sunlight, as she stepped directly into its warm and gorgeous rays, my eyes grew very wide. Her skin was made out of tiny, rainbow crystals glued together in a hard layer, shining brilliantly, reflecting magnificent colors.

_Humans can't do that.  
_

"S-Stay away from me." My voice was shaking and weak, barely audible to any human's ears-but she heard me clearly.

She gave me a look that was a cross from confusion and hurt. The same look Jake had only...colder. Had I known her? I looked at her, in her eyes searching for something familiar.

But before I could blink she was in front of me and I toppled over trying to get away. _Was I always this clumsy?_

"How, how did you do that?!" She looked as if she was questioning my sanity, like we had been over this before and I lost recollection. Something clicked and her eyes flashed.

"You don't remember me, do you?" She reached down to help me up by I just scooted away until my back hit the wall. Then I was trapped. Crud. Her skin had me dazed, stunned until she stepped into the shade, out of the windows range.

"Please. Just please stay away," I couldn't even wrap my brain around what was happening. I just wanted it all to stop. The images whirled in my mind in incomprehensible tornadoes- jibberish- yelling at me in various languages. Images of me and her…and others…people I've never even met before but I was hugging them and kissing them and loving them. None of it made any sense. I had never felt so scared in my life. "Jake! Jake!"

"Who-?" Her words halted and there was a rush of wind before she was knocked back from something hard and burning hot. "What are _you _doing here?!" Her voice rose in contempt.

It was Jake that pushed her away. He glared at her with such untamed fury I cringed. "Keeping her away from you." His words were forced through clenched teeth; his chest moving up and down a little too rapidly for calm; him was trembling. I watched his muscles tightened as if he was attempting to force himself to stop. But when he turned and looked down at me, his face softened and his body stilled. "Bella are you alright? Did she hurt you?" There was a snort.

"I wouldn't hurt her." He ignored her and kept his loving eyes on me; his deep, warm and golden brown eyes. I almost fell into them. I nodded.

"Please, don't leave," I whispered. He sighed and began to nod slowly. He stood up from where he knelt in front of me and looked at the...the thing.

"I'm sure you already saw what...happened." She nodded, eyes flashing to me and I winced. "She has amnesia," Jake went on. The surprise on her face was mixed with understanding.

"Amnesia?! I thought she was dead. She tried to kill herself!" Something pecked at my memory but I was frozen.

"It's called Cliff Diving. Maybe you should try it...hopefully you'll hit a rock. Or a shark." She ignored his comment.

"So Bella...doesn't remember me. Or my family?" He shook his head.

"Zelch. But maybe that's a good thing. She's not pain anymore thanks to your fellow leeche." Her eyes narrowed at him dangerously before she looked away, sighing heavily. I saw the pain in her eyes, the loss. I wanted to comfort her but fear kept me on the floor.

_So Bella doesn't remember me or my family?_ She had a family? There were more of…her kind? My mind was ripping itself apart, trying to make something make sense. My chest screamed in intense pain and my head ached. I held my face in my hands, close to tears, trying to get a grip.

"Bella," I heard a soft voice, Jake's voice was seeping through the madness and reaching me from within. I looked up into Jake's loving, fathomless eyes; his face was just inches from mine which made the concern outlining his features more evident. "Are you okay?" My eyes went back to the thing in the background, watching me, eyes never shifting to another target.

"Jake…get me out of here.." His face hardened a tiny bit, still noticeable from his lack of distance.

"My pleasure." He scooped me into his arms; nestling me into his chest and I locked my arms around his neck, prepared to hang on for dear life is something should suddenly try to pull me away from him. He stood up perfectly straight as if my weight was nothing; he was holding a feather in his arms.

"Wait!" She came closer, standing just in front of us. I flinched involuntarily. I knew she caught it when her eyes flashed pain again. Her voice was soft and slow, trying to make this painless and easy; talking to me as if I was a three year old child. "Bella, please remember. You are too important to me and my family." Was I really important? How valuable could I have been to…_them_; something so paranormal, so unnatural, it went beyond the limits of reality and into the abnormal. How much could a mere mortal mean to a bunch of immortals? I couldn't see her logic. Was there any? I tried to get as far away from her and as close to Jake as possible. It was remarkable how my being didn't merge with his; skin pressed together so tight, they were inseparable. It wasn't until then I realized Jake was shirtless; his abs were hotter than raw flames yet I buried myself in them willingly. Trying to get away.

"Back off, you're scaring her. If she remembers you, she'll find you…assuming you don't runaway again." Her eyes pulled themselves away from me and glared at Jake. But you could tell she was still focused from me, reeling from my reaction and deeply hurt by it.

"I'm not going anywhere. You'll be able to sniff me out _mutt_. We still have things to discuss." Jake kissed my forehead; she was gone when he pulled away, clearing my line of vision to an empty space she once occupied seconds ago. Gone just like that.

"Let's get you outta here before the bloodsucker comes back." _Bloodsucker?_

I hadn't felt anything, I hadn't moved nor noticed the backgrounds exchange before I realized we were back in my truck, me wrapped tightly in a blanket, accompanied by Jake's arm, hugging me to his side. I bit my tongue as I distraction from my thoughts. I felt the rumble of the engine , hearing its whine as we started moving and our surroundings changed. I didn't ask where we were going; I didn't say anything; too afraid to think. I bit harder, my teeth becoming vicious and furious, containing all my frustration and confusion and fear. At least now I had the pain to concentrate on. My taste buds filled with the salty metal flavor of ruby blood and fought the vomit traveling up my throat. The taste was unbearable. I tapped Jake's shoulder in slight panic and he glanced at me as he pulled over. I quickly opened my car door and leaned across the seat until my head was sticking out of the vehicle and relinquished the horror, watching more that a mouth full splurt all over the ground. I ran my hand over my mouth, wiping the drops of blood still lingering on my lips and felt my tongue. It was sore and most likely swollen. I pulled myself back into the security of the truck and Jake saw my hand.

"Jesus Bella!" He reached below his seat and pulled out a towel, cleaning the blood off my hand. His eyes inspecting the rest of my face and my body, checking for any injuries or angry slashes. They stopped at my lips. "Bit your tongue.." he seemed to have muttered it to himself but I nodded as confirmation. He sighed, muttering, "You're such a mess Bella," as he discarded the towel and pulled onto the open road.

"Jake...did I know her? Alice?" The name stung my tongue with bitter coldness, causing me to wince slightly from the flash of pain. It was hard to talk with a swollen tongue; I wasn't even sure Jake understood me. But I watched him clench his jaw and force himself to nod silently; it looked like he was pained. I hated that look with a passion I couldn't explain for there wasn't a strong enough word for it in the man kind's vocabulary.

I stayed silent, sure that if I kept talking I would injure myself again by running my wounded tongue too close to the white stone walls that outlined my jaw. I kept quiet, listening to everything going on outside of the car. My gaze flickered to the woods on both sides if the road and I knew I had gone insane. I just knew it.

I saw a boy-several, really-running through the trees with no clothes on other than the loose jean shorts they were wearing. Their speed was unbelievable, running straight past us in the cover of leaves and treetops, you couldn't really see them unless you really looked. And once you looked, you might question your sanity. I strained my eyes to scrutinize details, a familiar face maybe. But they were running too fast and were gone before I could. The whole discovery must have been merely seconds. I looked back at Jake and noticed he was wearing loose jean shorts too; the tattoo on his arm seemed to catch my eye and I wanted to ask how it got there. Something told me it was recent. Very recent. My hand emerged from the blanket wrapped around me and traced the tattoo with its index finger.


	6. A Story

Hey, sorry for the delay guys! School is really taking a toll on my free time. I hope this meets your standards. Enjoy! Please review and tell me what you think.

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**Chapter Five: A Story**

I couldn't get that look of pain painted on Alice's face out of my mind. I didn't know why it hurt me that her eyes dulled at the sight of me flinching away from her. I didn't know why I cared so much, but the urge to hold her became greater. Thankfully, so did the distance between us.

His house was foreign yet predictable. A small wooden place with narrow windows. I pictured a barn as I studied the dull chipped red paint. The air was thick with familiarity and comfort; it was hard to believe I hadn't been here before. But the cold grip of fear and the unknown caught me and I knew I didn't remember this place. Though I should. Jake forced my old and worn truck to go a little bit further, though it's whines and wheezes begged for rest. I listened to the engine graciously become silent and heard the opening of Jake's door. Then the unintentional slam. As he crossed the rounded distance between his seat on the driver's side to my position in the passenger seat, I couldn't keep my eyes off his tattoo. The very tattoo I could've sworn was on one of those boys before branches covered him in less than a second as he ran in correspondence to the security of the covering leaves. Jake opened my door and without saying a word, took me into his arms, pulling me out of my comfort zone.

He set me on my feet on the solid ground. "Do you remember being here?" I caught the tiniest glint of hope in his eyes before he averted his gaze. I shook my head, eyes repeatedly glancing at the mark he shared with perfect strangers. Perfect, naked strangers that held a secret my memory hadn't yet unveiled.

"No…Jake…I saw something." He looked up at me then, dark hope peaked from his irises and I knew I had his full attention.

"What did you see?" His words were forced from him, in an attempted soft tone. There were rough edges that seemed to become more..noticeable. I averted my gaze for a moment until he gently took my chin in his furnace heated hand. "Bella?" His voice was delicate and I blinked.

"Boys…running in the woods…half naked boys. They…they had your tattoo Jake.."

"Are you sure of what you saw?" We both turned towards the intrusion. A man with long black hair, knowing black eyes, and kind, worn features looked about fifty or sixty years old judging from his wrinkles and worry lines; appeared in doorway of Jake's front entrance. I noted his reddish brown skin a tad lighter than Jake's tan and knew the two of them were related. The wheel chair came last. There was a story there, something I should've remembered automatically but didn't-couldn't. Jake's eyes flashed with hardness then dimmed.

"Bella, this is my dad, Billy." _Billy._ That sparked something. Something about this place and me started the whirl of images again. I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the pictures back. I didn't want to break down three times in one night.

The expression on Billy's face changed to friendly kindness, taking place of the recognition and knowing he'd once wore five minutes ago. "Pleasure to meet you Bella." My eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

"I..I've met you before.." I managed to stutter, glancing at Jake to see if I was right. The hope flashed again and Billy smiled.

"Well, it's a start." I didn't have a chance to ask what he meant, for Jake was already wrapping an arm around me, leading me from my truck and my safety zone. I could feel Billy's eyes but didn't dare look into them out of fear I'd remember something else. I starred ahead of me and nearly tripped through the door. Jake caught me, muttering something under his breath and strengthened his hold around me. I didn't object. I was beginning to realize, _I am a klutz_.

His room was messy and untouched. I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault; he had practically lived my room the past couple of days. That thought just stopped me completely. _Couple of days._ Had it only been two days? He sheepishly picked up the thrown carelessly clothes off the floor, doing what any normal teenager did, throwing them in the closet. I watched him clear the bed soundlessly as I thought about everything that had happened in the small course of two hours. _Wow. Everything was happening so fast. _When the bed was cleared, he actually made it up. Something in me told me to take a snapshot; this might not happen again. He pulled back the covers and sat against the wall, patting the spot beside him. I slowly eased onto the bed and purged my way into the cage of his arms, catching the small wave of surprise as I bathed myself in his warmth and laid against his chest. I never wanted to move from this spot.

I heard him fight to find his voice, clearing his throat several times.

"I think I owe you a story." I nodded, remembering what he had told me earlier. He took a deep breath; I felt the lump in his throat being gulped down as his chest expanded under me, inhaling then exhaling. I waited patiently for him to gather himself. I was in no hurry to see him in pain. But I couldn't stop the flow of words spilling out of his mouth that next second. "Well, I am part of the Quileutes tribe. There's a specific legend that claims Quileutes are descended from wolves…" My eyes grew big, feeling as if I had been given this exact tale not so long ago. My body turned to stone as I listened and studied each word. "There are stories of the cold ones, as old as the wolf legends and some more…recent. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf-well not the wolf really, but the wolves-" I blinked, taking a moment to register the halt. I looked up at him to see that same expression of pain, eyebrows furrowed in concentration; lips lined in anger.

"Get out of my head.." He spoke through gritted teeth and I was at a lost for words due to the confusion. Who was in his head. His eyes laid on me and I saw the indescribable longing; the heart wrenching cry for understanding; the savage fight for control of his own actions…as if he was a puppet trying to break free from his puppeteer. There was a sense in me that said I was onto something.

"Jake?", I whispered, voice frail and scared. He clenched his teeth and I noticed how his entire body had become still and immobile.

"Bella…" I wanted to cry. Every single cell, every muscle, every part of me, body and soul was aching just by the sight of his face burrowed into my memory to haunt and torture me. "Bella…move.." the words were whispered but I jolted up instantly, nearly falling over my legs as I hastily got out of bed. He was a bit more graceful as he got up and left the room in a blur of color. I sunk to the bed where we once were and held my face in my hands. I let myself cry.

Not just for what just happened…but for rejecting Alice…and not knowing my own father…for the ache in my chest that provided no answers…and doing what I know I did that started this whole thing in the first place.

It was incredibly silent. I listened to the crickets chirp their nightly mate song and flinched when a face flashed in my mind. The most beautiful, gorgeous thing that I had ever laid eyes on...or not laid eyes on. He was simply angelic, though his features were god-like. I gasped when the pain in my chest expanded and my hand flew to clutch it. I took deep, controlled breaths. I didn't know who that face belonged to, or why it caused me such pain. But I didn't want to think about it again.

Ever.

Then came the voices. I slowly rose from my position on the bed and found my legs as they walked from the confinement and safety of Jake's room. A thought crossed my mind just then. _I'm always leaving the safety zone. _

The voices were angry and tamed at the same time, controlled out of fear they would escalate into something they would regret. As I crept closer, I recognized Jake's and clung to its fury. It was familiar and a reassurance. There were three voices that rang several bells, one of them a warning bell telling me to be cautious. Sam was there. His voice held the same power, authority and control front the last time I had heard him address an issue. And there was an issue. Billy wasn't in the living room when I entered. There was no hint to the squeaks of his wheelchair, nor any sign that he had recently been in here. He had probably left a long time ago to run an errand. A shout mixed with Jake's voice instantly caught my attention and I forced myself to move.

"Way to go dumbass, wolf's out of the bag."

"You just can't follow the rules, can you?"

"She already knew!"

"This isn't your secret to just go around spreading like gossip."

"One girl is hardly gossip."

"Shut up Quil."

I edged through the front door, catching sight of five boys, half naked, barefooted and dressed in matching ripped jeans. All had cropped black hair and dark tans from being outside in the blazing sun. The second I took a step further, all twelve sets of eyes looked straight at me. The intruder. They were all under the cover of night, but it wasn't yet dark enough obscure their distinct features and tell which was which.

"Bella." Jake walked towards me, while one of the boys smirked and another rolled their eyes. They didn't seem very nice. "Bella, remember what you said about seeing boys running through the woods?" Jake stood in front of me, taking both my hands in his comfortingly. He was shirtless too in the same attire, same similarities. I looked into his warm eyes, drawing the strength to nod.

"Jake," Sam warned, eyeing me.

"Just leave her alone. If the leech lover doesn't remember, then let her live in ignorance."

"Ignorance is bliss."

"Will all of you just shut up!?" Jake glared at them, turning his body partially away from me. That's when I saw his tattoo.

_That tattoo._ I moved away from him, rushing to boys that stared at me like I was crazy. The one closest to me gave me an odd look but didn't move out of the way when I walked into his personal space, searching his body for the same mark that I knew meant something. I ran my finger over his shoulder, tracing the tattoo in my memory.

"Uh..." His expression told me how awkward this was.

"Jake, control your play thing."

"What the is this?" I looked at the one who seemed irritated and repeated the routine for him next. He was more resistant.

"Paul," Sam's voice was like stone; unmovable and ground-breaking, making an impact. He knew what I was doing, studying my expression.

Paul had the same tattoo. So did the other two. I slowly stumbled back from them, breathing not so easily now. "I remember," I whispered, not knowing Jake was with me until I felt his arm around me, giving me the support to stand.

"You remember what?" he asked softly. I looked at the boys again, both confused and somewhat irritated. My mind was in whirls of images and voices narrating them. Voices that weren't mine but theirs, images of seeing them all in both human and wolf forms._ Jared...Embry...Quil...Paul...Sam...The wolf pack._ Images of humungous wolfs fighting savagely; running with the speed of…Alice's kind…maybe faster.

"You're….you're…" It was too much. There was no mercy and my head began to ache. I clutched my hands to the sides of my head as if I could center the pain, the agony and control it. But it would not be tamed. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier as I felt blackness invade and wash over me. I had zone out, ears flooded with my own silence; legs too weak to hold up the weight of my slim figure; I felt weak. I felt myself slump before I blacked out.

"Bella? Bella!"


	7. The Battle

_I know I haven't updated in forever and a decade. Sorry for the long delay guys! I'm hoping things calm down around here. Still have my AP Exam and State Testing to prepare for. I hope you like the chapter :) Review and Enjoy! _

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**Chapter Six: The Battle**

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me?"

"Overdramatic much?"

"Shush. Poor thing is clearly overwhelmed."

"I told you to just leave her alone."

"Jake isn't one for following orders."

"Duh."

I moaned as the darkness eased along with the cold claws of unconsciousness. I pried myself free and faced the battle with my eyelids. They were so heavy, it was remarkable I was able to open them morning after morning after hours of nights long sleep. I forced my eyes to open, revealing the faces of three individuals. One was Jake, centering himself in my vision so he could make sure I was alright; another was Sam, of course he had to assess the situation being as he was the leader and needed all the answers, all the angles before he could openly express his opinion or orders; the third one was a woman with long black hair, warm chestnut skin tone, beautiful brown eyes and a complex face. She resembled two face…one half was perfectly normal and matched her earthly beauty; the other was scratched up like it had been shred to pieces and was being held together by thin layers of glue. It was fascinating and I couldn't help but stare.

"Bella?" She spoke softly, not even flinching under my gaze, though I knew I wasn't blinking. "Are you okay?"

"Psst. Bells, stop staring." I glanced at Embry but caught Sam out of the corner of my eye. His body had tensed in an unnatural, remorseful way. His face was of pure pain and regret, sullen. He was extremely sorry for something…something I already knew of but didn't know at this particular moment. I blinked, snapping out of it and looked back at the girl apologetically.

"I…I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to be rude…" Her smile was easy and half full. It was hard for her to carry the movement clear across her face but there was something about her, something that made her beautiful even though she was damaged. She had the love of the leader of the wolf pack who thought she was larger than life. My chest ached as if moaning agony. _I miss that._

I froze._ When had I ever had that?_ The face from earlier threatened to show itself but I pushed it back, squeezing my eyes shut in concentration.

"It's okay. I know you've been through a lot." The glint in her eyes told me she knew about my dive, about my amnesia and how it was coming back to me gradually. But…they also held the understanding and connection that we had. I didn't know why I felt like I could understand her, her pain, her worry. Had we been best friends or something? There was a flash of me and her in a kitchen, smiling and talking and cooking… It was gone in seconds, but my mind still pondered over the visual now buried in my memory like all the others.

"How are you feeling Bella?" Jake immediately took the spotlight, sliding his warm hand at the base of my head and the tip of my neck, helping me sit up on the bed that I seemed to be on. I let him hold most of my weight because I knew he could handle it and at this point in time, I couldn't. His eyes again filled my visions, coming into focus while everything else was reduced to blurs. "Bells?" He asked again, obviously thinking I had a mental issue from the fall.

"I'm fine…" I told him. "Just…processing.." It had been overwhelming. Having history to which I didn't recall happening flash before my eyes like a home video I had throw away and forgotten where I'd thrown it.

"Just take a deep breath," The girl instructed gently, while Jake positioned himself both under me and beside me. His arms were wrapped tightly around me as he held me to his chest, all while laying down on the bed in the space beside me.

"Jake give her space." I feared he would let go of me and my eyes widened in horror while my mouth blurted out a protest before Jake had the opportunity to neither accept nor regret Sam's order.

"No! He…He's fine." I held his hand in both of mine. I didn't want him to let me go.

_I didn't want him to let me go_….haven't I thought this before? But with someone else?

"Bella." I looked at Jake who gestured to the girl looking at me both curious and concerned. Her eyes told me what my gut was screaming. I was hugging the wrong person. I was clutching the wrong monster. But it didn't make any sense. Had someone taken Jake's place in the past? "Do you remember Emily?" I shook my head in response to Jake though my eyes never left hers. I watched half of her face slowly form a deformed but successful smile.

"Vampire girl." _Vampire girl?_

"Wolf girl." I had said it as a correction but there was something about our exchange of words that caused a Déjà vu. This was an inside joke between us. Her smiled brightened as Jake's muscles tightened and Jared groaned.

"This is a real nice reunion and all, but we still have a parasite to kill."

"Parasite?" I asked, looking back at Jake who just shook his head and kissed my hair.

"Jake come on. You can caress her later."

"One more second of this and I'm blowing my brains out."

"Want me to bash them out? There's not much there." Paul gave Embry a clear view of his middle finger and Embry laughed.

"Both of you brainless idiots, shut up," Sam addressed the both of them, then looked at Jake who stiffened against me as if he knew what was coming. I felt Jake nuzzle his face in the back of my neck and wondered if he was inhaling my scent the way I took his in every time he held me to him. I felt his facial features, lips…nose…chin… against my skin and tingled from the intimate, warm feeling it brought me.

"Bells," Jake's voice was soft and muffled from his face still being buried. "You're only safe when you're with us. Please stay here." I had no plans of leaving regardless. There was something about Jake that pulled me towards him. Leaving was the last thing on my mind, a mere nightmare to the dream I seemed to be having.

_You're only safe when you're with us. _He could only protect me as long as I stayed in the perimeter. _Perimeter_…what perimeter? The wolves…they were limited here for a reason. There was a line they couldn't cross; a border they were forbidden to hop over in wolf form. And why was that? Were they under an agreement? Something else crossed my mind.

"Why am I in danger?" I asked, partly knowing I was asking an unnecessary question…at least it would be if I hadn't lost my memory. There was an awkward silence in the room. Jared looked at Paul who glanced out the window, faking disinterest. Quil and Embry looked both sympathetic and a bit uncomfortable. Sam and Jake grew completely quiet as their faces darkened. But none was like Jake who's eyes growled pitch black like a night with no moon; lips revealing clenched teeth. I felt the growl rising in his chest, the tremors he fisted his hands into fists in order to gain leverage and control. Emily was the only one not frozen from rage. She looked down at me with gentle eyes and maintained eye contact as she spoke her next words.

"Someone is after you, Bella. A vampire." My eyes widened as my body surrendered my fear, trembling in Jake's arms.

_A vampire._ Like Alice. My mind flashed back to the creature who claimed I meant so much to her. How did I know she wasn't the vampire trying to kill me? Her and her family of murderers? She was capable of things no other human was capable of doing. She was fast…really fast, and radiated with power that I hadn't understood until now. She had the power to take away a life, the power to give a nightmare, the power to see things no one would want to see, nor was able to.

"Oh…oh god.." Jake snapped back to life, gaining control over the beast and shoving him back in the cage as he pressed me to his chest.

"Ssssh. It's okay Bella. We'll protect you." I looked at him horrified. Him fighting Alice was not an image my heart could handle. If she laid one hand on him, I might just pass out.

"N-No Jake. Alice'll kill you!" There was an eruption of laughter. I looked at Paul who had fallen to his knees, shoulders shaking in hysteria. Embry and Quil were laughing too but not as dramatic. Jared wiped a tear from his eyes. Then I heard Jake's laugh and looked at him in utter confusion and rage.

_Did they think this was funny? Did they have any clue what they were up against_? I had no clue what we were up against and I was terrified. Jake caught my glared and recovered quickly.

"Alice isn't after you Bells."

"Yeah…she's just a harmless Cullen," Paul said, leaning against the wall as if he hadn't been on the floor seconds before.

"We have bigger fish to fry." I gaped at Embry, shining with confidence. Bigger fish to fry? Bigger than Alice and more dangerous. Embry merely smiled at my expression. "You underestimate us Bella. Relax." _Relax?_

"You're…werewolves-"

"Ahem," Jared interrupted.

"Shapeshifters," Quil corrected. Whatever.

"You...can't catch a vampire. They're fast…and…super strong…I-I don't want you guys to get hurt."

"I find your concern about our safety insulting," Paul murmured.

"Vampires may be good, but we're better." Sam finally spoke, standing against the wall with his arms around Emily, observing and monitoring what was going on.

"Yeah. That dreads guy was a piece of cake. We'll be kicking ass by sunset." Quil was just as confident as the others. They were almost arrogant.

Dreads guy. Laurent. "You…you killed Laurent?" I asked in disbelief. Judging by the looks on their faces, I had said something that hit a nerve.

"You remember his name?" I bit my lip, noticing the significance as well and nodded. The name had come easily, yet everything else was still encoded in my brain cells.

There was silence for a moment. Jake's body had gone rigid.

"Do you know who's after you?" Embry asked. Though I felt Jake's body turn to stone as tremors shook his figure against mine like a baby earthquake. I slowly let my hand fall over his and intertwined our fingers, it was as if I'd slipped on silver rings fresh from the burning blaze of a summer's sun. I marveled how good...and wrong it felt. The sensations were amazing...but not spectacular. Not breathtaking.

_Had I had that with someone else?_

"Red hair, serious attitude, tricky moves, all around bi-" Paul was interrupted in his description of my assassin, more like his interpretation of a sassy pit bull.

"Paul, shut up." Sam hadn't spoken. Jake had. His tone dared anyone to challenge him and get ripped to shreds. Oddly enough, the amount of authority he leaked was astonishing...the leader in him came off naturally and it wasn't until now that I realized not only was he fighting the beast, he was fighting this....himself. He could rival Sam for control of the pack, but he chose not to. Because he didn't want it.

Paul did shut up; rolling his eyes to the ceiling and folding his arms across his chest, but never opening his mouth.

I thought of the description he had been able to get out, separating it from the butthead tone he'd used, and let it paint a picture in my mind. My breath came out a bit shaky as my hand squeezed Jake's, squeezing a rock with little impact nor effect. Lips pressed themselves softly to my hair, attempting to calm me. "Victoria." That's her name._ Victoria_. My relentless killer.

_Red hair...red flaming hair that set the water on fire in the sunlight...or was that her breaking through the surface? Red hair...red hair.._

"I...I saw her..." I had looked into her eyes as she advanced towards me; leaving me helpless with the heavy task of keeping me from drowning. She had been coming for me. But didn't succeed. Something made her back off...something she was if not afraid of, appalled at...

Jake. My hero more than twice.

It was silent. Completely and utterly silent for the first time. Jake looked up at Sam as he held me even closer, merging our beings together and I didn't fight him. I wanted him as close as humanly possible...being attached to the hip was not enough. There was a single sound. A buzzing sound, breaking through the weight of the quiet...and the weight of Jake.

I didn't notice a thing when he picked me up like a baby doll, and slid his hand into his back pocket, pulling out a small, sleek, silver cell phone that, judging by the furrowing of his eyebrows and confused features, was not his. Sam's body and mind seemed to come to attention; his eyes never left Jake as he nodded slowly.

Jake glanced at the caller ID, then opened the phone, putting the receiver to his ear. "Who is this?" I heard nothing from the other end. I watched Jake's annoyed expression morph to pure anger and hatred.

"Bringing more leeches to town solves nothing. You'll scare her to death." There were more coming? More like Alice. I flinched, shifting so I could bury my face in his chest.

"She doesn't want anything to do with you. Leave her alone."

"Bella, get back." I had thought I was shaking terribly...but it was Jake. The tremors were more frequently, gaining strength until he was vibrating the entire bed.

"Uh oh."

"It's not smart to piss a wolf off."

"Chill Jake, you're too close. You'll kill her." Embry's words, had us all thinking of Emily.

"Bella!," Sam warned again. A strong hand grasped my wrist and pulled me up and away from Jake. It was practically a miracle I got away; I had been gripping his arm with all the strength I could muster, trying to make sure we were never separate again. And now we were.

"Jake!" My eyes widened in fear and horror as his body exploded into showers of confetti...the remains of his clothing. A huge reddish brown wolf, the size of a horse...maybe bigger, stood in his place, breathing heavy and growling into the phone that had once been held by a human hand. I starred, stunned speechless. I couldn't even move, feeling my heart pounding in my chest; my lungs screamed, going into overdrive to handle the oxygen I was huffing in, trying to calm myself. My nerves, brain cells, mind in all it's complexity and entirety, was haywire. I repeated the scene over and over in my head and came to no simple reasoning that didn't blow my mind to the point of malfunction.

"J...J...Jake.." I whispered. The huge wolf turned to face me, it's large brown eyes boring into mine; we were equally leveled.

"Jake...phase back...now." I was fighting to battles. The battle to stop myself from shaking...and the urge to scream as loud as I could. My mind was torn in two. Jake, my best friend, my hero, my...everything as of now. A part of me told me it was still that same Jake that loved me more than I realized and more than I could love him though I vowed to try. A part of me knew he wouldn't harm me. He couldn't.

But another part told me, I'd seen this before...and I knew why this was happening. This is not the beginning, but the middle of something that I had started, something I'd begun with someone else.

And more was coming.


	8. My Commitment

_Thank you guys so much for the support! I'm trying to update more regularly and hopefully everything will calm down a bit before Finals and the AP exam [yikes!] I hope you like this chapter; my favorite line is in this one! (: Please review and leave your criticism! Enjoy!_

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**Chapter Seven: My Commitment**

I didn't know what was so wrong. Sam had commanded Jake to phase back with such finality and strength in his voice, his words were metal fists in the vulnerable targets of your stomach. You had to obey him. You had no other choice and was frankly too busy keeping yourself from trembling under his glare to search for a loophole. At least…that was my reaction. Jake was totally different. He did phase back, but he gave Sam a glare like no other. It was mixed with forced respect and cooperation. He was pissed off and hated the only one bold enough to say something he wasn't too keen with. It wasn't until he locked eyes with me, huge pools of warm brown irises linked with mine.

"Jake," I whispered, my voice as strong as I could get it at the moment. "Calm down…it's okay…" I kept his gaze, watching him inhale and exhale deeply; each inhale was slower than the exhale and I could see his temper deflating. The wolf let out a howl of pain as his being began to shrink until only Jake was left behind. My Jake. Naked. In all his natural, fully exposed glory…sitting on the floor.

"Man, I need to find some girls," Jared muttered, looking away. Embry sighed.

"I'll go see if we have any more un-shredded jeans left."

"I'll help." Quil trailed behind him, seeming uncomfortable with the scene. His eyes were awkwardly darting between Jake's birthday suit and thin air; his head was turned deliberately away so there was no incident in seeing him. He seemed uneasy.

"You'll get use to it," I heard Paul mumble as they passed him in the doorway, going into the hallway. Emily didn't seem affected at all. Then again, I assumed she's had a lot of experience in this area…mostly for intimate sensations with her soul mate. My chest ached as my heart thudded threateningly.

_Soul mate._ I had one, didn't I? Somewhere. Was it Jake? My mind skimmed over the memories I'd recovered, scanning everything that contained meaning. Jake. He was my everything. Did I love him? Yes, of course. I loved him enough to protect him, throwing myself in the line of fire to shield him from the worst, if not all of it. He was all I had right now. But…why did I get the feeling I loved someone else more? I didn't understand.

I stood against the wall, leaning against it so I could maintain the balance I'd seemed to grasp; it was a miracle to me. Sam dragged fully clothed Jake and the rest of the wolf pack out in the hall. Now the whispers were beginning again. Emily had volunteered to stay in here with me, to keep me company. And distracted.

"Emily, what's happening?" I asked, unable to control myself. Something was wrong. And the mystery was going to drive me crazy. "What are they talking about?" I had a feeling she knew and if she didn't, she would know in due time. She smiled at me warmly, her eyes doing the heavy lifting as she comforted me and spoke useless words at the same time.

"Don't worry about it Bella." But that didn't make me stop worrying.

"Bella…" Emily's mouth had not moved a muscle. The voice was deeper, strained painfully, and my remedy to the chaos going on inside and around me.

"Jake." I stood up automatically, walking to him and without thinking about it, wrapped my arms around his waist, absorbing his warmth as I laid my head on his shoulder. I breathed in his scent of pines, earth, and nature. It seemed to depress my frantic nerves and my body relaxed with relief. His arms slowly encased me in them; surrounding me completely with irresistible heat. His lips pressed gently against my hair, I listened to his forced intake of breath.

"Bella…I don't want you to see them…I don't want you to remember…him…" I looked up at him as he looked down at me.

"Them?" Who was them? And what was he so afraid of my remembering? There was a note of pure agony in his voice. Did he think I would leave him?

_No. Never. He is my everything now. No matter how it was before._ I couldn't imagine living without him.

His eyes darkened with hatred, slight tremors shook his body and me. "Alice and Carlisle are here."

_Carlisle._ It seemed so familiar, so…comforting. I knew Carlisle. I couldn't place his face but I knew his name.

"I want to see them." There was another tremor. His arms tightened their hold, threatening to leave bruises on my back and arms. But I didn't care. He was clutching me like a child would their favorite toy when they knew they were in trouble and it was about to get taken away. "Jake…I'm not going to leave you. I promise."

"Of course you're not leaving him," Paul said, coming into the room as well, with the others. "We're coming with you."

"Just in case," Sam added, confirming what Paul said but making it sound as if they weren't there for my protection. Did they think Carlisle would hurt me? Something inside my head, a voice buried underneath the ruins of what was left of my brain cells, told me they wouldn't hurt me. Alice had the opportunity before but had instead tried to talk to me; Carlisle…just seemed gentle for some reason. I didn't know why.

I nodded. "Okay."

"They're expecting us." Sam eyed Jake's hold on me and I kissed Jake's cheek. No matter the placement, I didn't kiss him as if he was going to lose me. I kissed him to show him he wouldn't. Ever.

"I think you missed his lips."

"Shut up Jared."

"What if I shut you up Embry?"

"Jake," Sam's voice boomed. "Time to go." Jake slowly released me and nodded gravely.

I saw them through the large glass window in front of me. My tired, aging truck whined as it inched closer, followed by the several wolves around us, developing a circle of protection. I wasn't so sure we wouldn't need it. The sight of Alice again, the vampire…had me catching my breath. Jake's hand appeared on my knee, squeezing gently for comfort.

"Everything's gonna be fine, Bella." He says that before he gets out and leaves me to fend for myself against my oncoming hyperventilation. I watched him get out of the car and walk toward them with my heart in my throat.

"Didn't think I'd bring her?" Alice inclined her head and let a small playful, yet mocking smile spread across her face.

"There was doubt."

"Where is she?" The male asked. Clusters of several images flashed before my eyes, all of them including that face. Blond hair, young features, kind eyes and wise instincts. Carlisle. The father figure of Alice, his supposed adoptive daughter. It was coming back to me in blank splotches.

Jake walked to my door, opening it against the car's wishes for it creaked and squeaked in rebellion. His hand reached out for mine and I grasped it, holding on for dear life. They'd have to cut both our hands off if they wanted us separated again. I used my free arm to cling to his as the baby steps towards Carlisle matched the thudding of my heart beats. It was agony. Watching their eyes scan me over for god knows what; watching them get bigger and bigger in visual as the space between us gets smaller….and smaller…and smaller. I forced my lungs to work, when the first thing on both our minds was passing out and praying we woke up in Emily's guest bedroom again.

Then it was too late to turn around.

"Bella," Carlisle's voice was soft and slow, deliberately coherent; a hint that Alice had told him everything. His yellow eyes never moved from my face, though strained to appear gentle. There was something comforting about the air around him that made it easier to breathe. "Bella, I am Carlisle, Alice's adoptive father. A vampire," he added for clarification, doing the one thing Alice had not when she'd tried this introduction. "Do you remember me?" He asked. I nodded slowly, knowing I remembered his face, and a few situations between us came to light in those few seconds.

_Scarlett blood is streaming down my arm from an open wound, filled with glass and metal, salt flavored blood, the most delicious thing in the world to a vampire. And that's how I got here. A paper cut, a bead of blood not even big enough to string a piece of yarn through; had drove Jasper to determination of my death. Forcing Edward to protect me; ending in more pain and bloodshed than necessary. Carlisle had offered to clean me up though I knew blood tortured him mercilessly like all the others. He was taking the minuscule pieces of glass out of my arm while the others waited at a safe distance. Including Edward._

_Edward._

"What do you remember Bella?" I fought for the words to come out.

"Images…faces…names…" Carlisle's eyes glanced at Alice beside him and she flashed a smile of hope. It was a better substitution than the hurt expression I'd last seen on her.

"Do you remember Edward?" Jake's mouth was fixated, about to jump in but even he was caught by surprise when I nodded my head slowly. I felt the tremors and almost had a heart attack when I felt him ringing his arm back to him and away from me. My limbs cried out in protest as I firmly wrapped my arms around him.

_Don't let go. I don't want him to let go._

"Bella." It is Alice's voice that drags me back to attention this time. "What do you remember about him?"

_There's a flash of me and him in a small, perfectly round meadow filled with dozens of wild flowers-red, yellow, purple- covered in the most alluring bright yellow light that should've been green. Somewhere played the bubbling of a stream, the music of their soundtrack. The sun was directly overhead, making this place glow as holy land. I was awestruck, walking through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm gilded air-with him close beside me. _

"I remember the meadow…and his face," My brain searched for others, translating the mush into something coherent. "I remember how we met in school…almost everything," I concluded when I felt Jake's body become rigid. Alice was smiling fully and genuinely now as she exchanged looks with first Carlisle, then Jake.

"Huge improvement." Carlisle, seemed to be in thought, thinking.

"It might make it easier if we brought Edward here-"

"_No!_" Jake's voice seemed to erupt from deep inside him. The volcanic animation made me shiver, nearly giving out of my skin.

"Bella." Sam, standing in ripped jean shorts came towards me, my bodyguard against Jake once again. He took my arm deliberately, moving me away from Jake who struggled to compose his form. Alice's eyes were on my back like daggers.

"Why would you want her to remember!? She was in pain when your leeche left! She could barely take a breath when she thought about him and you want to bring her _back_ to that!?" Carlisle spoke calmly against Jake's rage.

"Jacob, neither of us wish to see Bella in pain."

"Then why are you doing this!?! _You_ left _her_, not the other way around."

"We left for her protection; we thought it was the right thing to do."

"Well you didn't think about her! You never thought about anyone but yourselves!" I saw Alice's glare; her temper had finally reached a peak and it took both of Carlisle's hands to keep her put.

"Jake, we all agree on Bella's importance. She is valuable in both of our lives. We honestly tried to do what was best for her; I don't think our punishment should be ignorance on her part. We don't want to be forgotten just like you wish to always be in her memory."

"But once she remembers, you're leaving again…aren't you?" He accused, more out of blind sight but that didn't hide his accuracy.

_But once she remembers, you're leaving again…_No. _No_. I didn't want them to leave again. I didn't know why this caused me to tremble. I didn't know what was going on but the voice in my head was screeching. I didn't want them to go. I didn't want to remember.

"J…J…Jake! Jake!" It was automatic. I need someone to protect me from myself and the sound was immediate.

"We'll discuss this later," Carlisle concluded. Jake rolled his eyes, appearing beside me, arms around me.

"Sure, Sure."

"J…Jake," I whispered. "I want to go home." He nodded, picking me up in his arms, carrying me to my side of the car.

"I'll take you back to Emily's." I shook my head.

"My home." I wanted something familiar; I wanted to see Charlie. And I had a feeling I would be meeting something there. The other half to what started this whole thing.


	9. The Then and The Now

_Okay, I know it's been FOREVER and for that I am SO sorry! I am trying my best to balance this, school, and my trilogy that I'm working on. I'm close to finishing my first book so I will definitely take a break after that and focus on this. Please bare with me and review. Kind of a short chapter so I'll try to make the next one longer(: Thanks so much for the support!_

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**Chapter Eight: The Then and The Now**

"Jake…Jake, please say something," I begged. He hadn't uttered a word or even looked at me since he'd placed me into the car, walked around to the driver's seat, then sped off without looking back at his pack talking to Carlisle and Alice. I felt like I was choking on his silence. His eyes were flashing but focused on the road ahead of us. He was afraid to meet my unwavering gaze. I looked at his face, screaming realization and heart break. He hadn't known I remembered Edward. But…why was it so traumatic? What was he so scared of? My voice shook and I squeezed my eyes closed, praying for something to shield me from his pain. But I was immersed. "Jake…please.." He seemed unaffected by a voice that could break a pro WWF wrestler. He was immovable.

With the silence killing me slowly, my thoughts took over. Scenes of me and Edward together, in his house, in his room. I was remembering everything; every single missing strand in the fabric of time that had disappeared from my grasp was coming together. The voice I'd heard in my head when I'd jumped. The face I'd seen under the water. _Edward._ The name Jake had said in my room that first night of the day he'd saved my life. _Edward._ My life. My lover. _Edward._

I remembered Alice and Carlisle, members of Edward's slightly large and unusually bound family. Couples bound by a common curse they all had to bare. _Vampires._ I hadn't been afraid of them, because I knew they wouldn't hurt me. I knew Edward couldn't, though every bone in his body, every ounce of thirst he endured, wanted him to. There were times-possibly all the time-that _he_ wanted to. But he didn't, hadn't.

I remembered the wolf pack, fully. Those days I'd been too heartbroken to be able to stand solitude, I'd stuck to Jake because he was my sunshine in the dark. He made it possible to draw a breath without my body quaking in pain and agony. He made me want to live. He and his brothers were my protectors against Victoria. I remembered me and Emily would wait, pacing her home, for them to come back-or for the dreaded news of one of them never coming back.

I looked at Jake beside me, seeing what he was so afraid of. He knew where my heart had been. Denial hadn't spared him from the truth though he'd refused to give up hope; he knew.

Where my heart had been. _Not where it was now._

My truck screeched to a stop, reaching multiple octaves only dogs could hear. Jake immediately got out the car, walked around to the passenger seat and opened my door. His eyes were dark and purposely focused on looking straight through me, but not seeing.

"Go inside. I have to patrol the area with the others. I won't leave Forks," he promised.

"Jake, talk to me." His guards came up. "Jake, if this is about me remembering Edw-"

"I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I?" I looked at him in disbelief. "That bloodsucker practically _destroyed_ you!"

"And you brought me back," I choked out, slowly slipping out of the car. My feet landed on the solid ground, millimeters in front of his; our chests were less than a foot apart; my face so close to his, I could see every speck of chocolate brown in his irises even with him fighting to darken them.

There was no pain in my chest, no ache in my bones as I stepped towards him, closing the nonexistent distance. Time stood still, waiting to witness something historic. I wanted to prove to him, he had nothing to worry about. Yes, I remembered what had been and what had happened. But I'd also remembered what had happened and hadn't. He didn't step back, but let me place a hand on each of his blazing cheeks and press my lips to his. It was like kissing flames without the burn but not lacking the sensations. It was simple, basic. Lips to lips. I felt his arms snake around my waist as he hungrily deepened what had already been waiting for him since the day he saved me. Maybe before then. His lips were tender and soft against mine; he was slowly taking what was given to him in hopes it wouldn't be snatched away forever.

Moments of heated pleasure ended reluctantly.

"You're more than enough," I whispered. His eyes held mine, searching for the sincerity that was there, taking in what was happening, what had happened.

"Bella-" He stopped abruptly. "I have to go. But I will be back okay?" I nodded. _He'll be back. He said he'll be back._ He wrapped me in a hug, allowing me to bury my face in his chest as he kissed my hair. I absorbed his warm, comparing it to the memory of Edward's frigid skin. It reminded me too much of the arctic waves overlapping one by one over my body; I forced myself not to flinch and pushed the trauma away.

"Be careful," I told him.

"It's them you should be worried about." His overconfidence had recovered ahead of him which gave me a bit of reassurance. He was still processing the kiss, as was I. I knew he was analyzing our past with our present, as was I.

But that was the then. And this is the now.

Charlie is sitting on the couch with a newspaper in one hand, and a beer in the other. He maneuvers the newspaper to his lap and picks up the remote, while bringing the beer to his lips for a long drag; he turns up the volume of the TV, watching the game. He seemed content with that pattern, and I recalled it being the usual.

"Hey Dad." I walk into the room and hug him with my arms, catching him completely off guard. But he managed to break free from the TV's hypnotism.

"Bells…" There was hesitation due to the fact he didn't know if my memory was restored or not. He'd taken into account I had called him Dad and not Charlie, or given him any of the weird looks I'd been giving him while I was here since Jake saved me.

"It's okay dad. I remember." His face flushed with relief.

"Thanks goodness Bells. I was beginning to feel like a stranger." I shook my head, wiping the doubt from his mind. Apparently, I was a cloud of doubts to the people I loved most.

"You were never a stranger dad." I knew of his discomfort when it came to showing emotion. Charlie was a typical male. But instead of his usual handshakes or short response before focusing on something else- he hugged me again. And I didn't push him away.

"Glad to have you back Bells. Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I won't. Promise."

As I walked up the stairs to my room, I let my hand brush against the wall, remembering Edward carrying me down these very stairs countless times. Then the image of Jake carrying me up dawned on me. Both Jake and Edward were supernatural, warped creatures…but one gave me the hope of being normal, with as little pain as possible while the latter would take me away from not only my family, friends, and death…it would take me away from humanity. I had to give up so much for someone who just left me here. Voices in my head were waging war, screaming at each other from opposite sides.

_He left to protect you!  
_

_Him leaving almost killed me!_

_If you weren't so psychotic, maybe it would've worked!_

I had another epiphany. If Edward left to save me…maybe the safe thing to do was be with Jake. He'd get what he wanted, which was my protection without the guilt holding him back. Because it was _the guilt_ that was holding him back. Nothing else. He never loved me. All those words he'd whispered in my ear turned to tin, falling soundlessly into the dark hold that was burrowed into my heart. The hole Jake was healing. I needed him. I can't stand to be on my own. Not now.

All I kept thinking when I thought of Jake was: _I need him._

The only thing that came to mind when I envisioned Edward's perfect face and his signature crooked smile was: _He left me._ The pain of abandonment was numb, but still there. Solid.

I'd reached the top of the stairs and looked around. My room no longer looked like a hallow shell missing its soul. It was broken, yes, but healing also. It just took a moment of absence for the both of us to realize what we needed to get ourselves back to being. I walked into my closet and pulled out the box of all things that reminded me of Edward. The music, posters, life, and soul I'd stripped from this room out of feeling of abandonment.

I was going to give it back.

My room was tired of feeling hallow and abandoned-and I couldn't agree more.

"Bells? Just wanted to check on ya. I heard music." Hours later Charlie opened the door, not expecting to see color and hear the familiar sounds of my playlists. The surprise gleaming from his face matched the light shining on the surface of a lake.

"It's okay dad." I was stationed on my bed, restoring my photo album, given to me as a birthday present. I had a reason to mark my memories though before I hadn't because I planned to live forever. Was life suppose to be eternal? It lacked it's purpose that way.

Charlie was still awestruck. "Wow…I like what you've done to the place." I smiled. My posters were up; music blasting the medication a doctor couldn't prescribe; I'd even added color, digging up the baby blue rug that was buried deep inside my closet and the purple comforter I'd once thrown in there because it pierced my heart with all the nights me and Edward had laid on it, or beneath it snuggled together.

I wasn't saying I didn't want to remember my past with Edward. I just wanted something different for my future.


	10. What I Want

_Okay you guys, YES I am back! (: But since I'm in my senior year the updates will be a bit stretched. I'm going to try my best to update regularly but that might not happen. In your review, leave a comment whether you want sneak peeks to the next chapter or not during the wait and I'll do that (hopefully to make it easier). To my old readers, thanks for sticking with me and to my new readers, thank you for reading and supporting! I hope this chapter meets your standards. Enjoy!_

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**Chapter Nine: What I Want**

"Bella." Alice crawls through my two story window as if it's just a step up on my stairs instead of two hundred and fifty feet from the ground. Her brown short, spiked hair was seen before she was completely standing in front of my window, full frontal. She looked at me as if she was studying me for a reaction. "Don't freak out." What seemed like the most ludicrous thing right now, was exactly what I'd done yesterday.

I refuse to retort with words I couldn't think of and immediately wrapped my arms around her. My heart took a breath of relief that she was here and they hadn't left yet. _Yet._

_But they were still leaving. I'd gained my memory back and there was no reason to stay now_.

"I assume you remember everything," Alice spoke as she hugged me back as gently as possible for with her strength it didn't take much for her to crush me like a soda can under a thick boot. I nod with my face partially buried in a mix of shoulder and hair.

"Don't leave," I whispered. The thought of them leaving after I'd regained the privilege of seeing their faces again made the pain of loss resurface. My chest ached. Could I really lose them again? My arms tightened around her waist as I spoke. I was terrified she would evaporate from my grasp.

"I'm not going to leave you Bella." My relief was short lived when I heard her sigh heavily.

"What?"

"Bella…I have to tell Edward." Edward. That name still had the impact of a monster truck slamming into me. It took all my strength just to keep standing. If she told Edward, he wouldn't come back. He had no reason to.

"Edward…doesn't love me anymore," I stammered out between short gasps in numbness. I wanted to feel pain; I should've felt some degree of pain but didn't. I was numb…feeling nothing…which was the worst possible feeling there was.

There was a hesitation as she thought about her next words, choosing them carefully as to avoid hurting my feelings.

"Bella…" I pulled back, moving my thick hair out of my eyes so I could see her face. Her eyes were in the same rhythm as the rest of her facial features. She was trying to spare me anymore pain.

"He…doesn't know you're in Forks does he?" I asked, voice shaking when the realization hit me. I was onto something. She didn't answer me but her eyes said it all. He didn't know. And if he had known, there was no doubt in my mind he would've stopped her from relieving a significant portion of my pain. He would've left me here, thinking none of them really wanted me once he had gotten tired of my company.

This made me angry.

If Edward didn't want me, I couldn't change that no matter how much I wanted to or how loud my heart screamed for a metamorphosis to make me into something he'd love for eternity. An eternity he promised me but never fell through.

My jaw clenched involuntarily and I look up at Alice with a mix of pain and rage in my eyes. "I don't want Edward here. You can't tell him." The look on Alice's face matched half of the thoughts running through my mind at the speed of light.

_I am ruining any chance I have of seeing him again…._

I was pushing Edward away further than he had ran. But he had ran. He was the one that ignited this emotional battle going on inside me. I loved and hated him…I couldn't even stay in one piece without half of myself ripping and tearing at the other with the fury of an ax murderer from one of those cheesy horror films.

"Bella-"

"No Alice." My mouth was ahead of me and not giving my brain time to process the words shooting from my mouth.. "You can stay. But I don't want Edward in Forks."

She just looked at me. Her yellow eyes flickered with some of the pain I'd caused her earlier when we had acted out this very scene with different lines and different results. I could read the words lingering on her lips, restrained by her self control to be silent. I felt like if I didn't keep talking, the both of us would remain unconvinced that I meant what I was saying.

"He left me, Alice. He left me to keep me safe and because he no longer loves me." I blink, noticing for the first time that faint stab of pain as I smacked into reality. "I love Jacob…and just mentioning Edward's name hurts him. I don't want to cause him anymore pain." I forced myself to gaze into her unusually animated irises, composing themselves after the mention of a werewolf. "Edward chose his path and I'm choosing mine. Please respect that."

It took a moment for her to comprehend what I said. My own ears were plastic and playing tricks on me, for I thought she said, "Okay. As you wish." Really? She was going to leave Edward out of this?

"Are you leaving?" I asked. It was common for me to think she would follow her brother's footsteps out of my life. It killed me all over again to think she'd conform to Edward's logic that it was safer to abandon me without love nor hope.

She snorted at the ridiculous theory she was certain I'd materialized. "Of course not. My brother is a fool and I will not suffer because of him." She smiled at me dazzlingly. "Edward shall never know of this." The relief and joy her words washed over me was overwhelming. She was handing me a part of my life back on a silver platter. I through my arms around her and hugged her as tight as I could hug a statue.

The instant Alice slipped out of my window, claiming it wasn't safe for Jake to have them both contained in the same room -especially a room as small as mine- Jake knocked on my front door. I met Jake at the bottom of the stairs, my heart felt like a burning flame, pounding in my chest. I was excited to see him, hold him in my arms. Jake made me feel as if I had been laying out on the beach under the sun for hours…so…so _warm_. Edward covered my fire with snow…cold then hot. The sensations roll over my skin and I shiver, trying to forget and focus on the one I did manage to keep a hold of. And I refused to let him go.

"Jake!" He immediately encases me in his arms, burying me in his chest. His moves seemed reluctant and forced, like he was fighting with himself. I heard him inhale my scent and frowned when he pulled away with a wrinkled nose. His features hardened but I saw the hurt in his eyes and sucked in a sharp intake of breath, feeling his pain. And the frigid distance.

"You smell like…_them_." His words were pushed through clenched teeth, shredded to the point I felt the teeth of the wolf slashing into my chest. I looked at him accused and caught red-handed.

"A-Alice came over," I choked out. I hated the dark shadow that crossed his face. "Jake…" I didn't want to think about the line he was drawing in the sand between him and my friends…the friends that were so close to becoming family. If I was with Jake that would never happen…there would be a lot of changes in my now short and semi-normal future…but at least I was with someone who wanted me. "I need Alice." There. It was out. "I…I just got her back and if she leaves again, I-I'd die…"

"Bella. Stop." Those two words rammed into me with such agony, I almost did stop and crawl into a ball painfully, trying to disappear.

_What if he left me? Would he not want me anymore because I was holding onto Alice? Or did he think me getting closer to them meant I'd forget him? _The last thought disturbed me more than the others. I reached out to him and he stepped further away, leaving a burning ache in my chest and washing over my arms and hands. I wanted to hold him. I wanted him to hold me.

"Here me out," I begged. He looked up at me; his eyes met mind but wasn't really seeing. "Jake, I love you. I…I would never leave you. I don't want Edward; I don't want Mike; I don't want anyone but you, Jake." I took a breath, stammering on. "B-But I need them. Please don't force me to choose. Please. We can be together and I can keep Alice, can't we?" I had just bared my soul.

And I lied. I did want Edward, to see his perfect angelic face and touch him…but I wanted Jake more. Jake was standing right in front of me, in my line of vision, not gone to lord knows where to be away from me because he no longer shared the intense, intimate affection as me. I would sacrifice anything to keep Jake here with me…even my unreturned love for Edward.

I felt Jake reeling me in; the familiar heat of his arms wrapped around me. He pressed his lips against my forehead and whispered, voice full of emotion, "We can try."


	11. Forget Me Not

_You guys are all really awesome for putting up with me. Lol. Life has been so crazy and hectic, I honestly haven't even thought about writing PRM but I'm still getting alerts which really warms my heart that you guys haven't given up on me. I'm trying to write when I can but the problem is finding time. So, Chapter Ten is still unfinished but maybe this can be a Part 1. I'm again, really sorry you guys. Thankfully there's not that many chapters left of this and I know exactly what I want to happen so it'll be easier to write instead of wandering through ideas until something clicks (my usual strategy. Lol) I hope this meets your standards and that I'll have Part 2 up before next year. ;) _

**Chapter Ten: Forget me Not**

The days and hours blurred into months of a colorless happiness. The hole in my chest was almost nonexistent; Jake had healed me. Though it was his passionate kisses that revived the memory of another, I couldn't go a day without them. The final seams of my memory were restored down to the meadow where I witnessed my last sighting of Laurent and my first sighting of Jake's true hairy form. I spent more of my summer days split between time with Emily at her home, waiting for the boys to stop by during a break from their patrol, always such a short amount of time but worth the wait. The rest of my days were full of Alice, who was staying at my home since I couldn't go to their glass house further outside Forks. I still wasn't ready. Alice and Jacob had come to an agreement: Alice would keep me in Forks and Jacob would wait for Alice to go on her hunts before climbing through my window. The nights we were together were the only nights I could sleep peacefully, my head on top of his blazing chest, my cheek absorbing his heat. I knew Alice kept in contact with Carlisle after he returned to Canada to reunite with Esme. And I knew of the periodic calls from Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett. But _he_ hadn't come…so she must not have told him…or he didn't care.

One day I heard two different kinds of angry hisses. One was Alice; her voice dripped venom whenever she murmured Rosalie's name, unable to tame her seething temper. I've never seen her so enraged; her dark eyes were like daggers plunging you into a dark hole. I couldn't hear the other voice clearly enough to match it with the face of its owner. It was too hushed as if she was talking to herself. My heart jumped at the thought it could be…_him_. I inhale through the pain and try to focus on the voice whispering in Alice's ear but my hearing is human and feeble. I didn't have the sharp instincts and senses of a vampire or a werewolf. Unfortunately.

The whispering stopped. Alice had hung up and was now looking at me. I gulped as she walked towards me, the sleek silver phone forgotten in her hand. Her eyes told me who it was before the words left her lips. "Bella…that was Edward." Oh god. I stared into Alice's terror-stricken eyes and knew what was coming before I heard her next words. It was like feeling the wind being knocked out of you before the car actually came in contact with your body and ran you down. "H-He's coming back to Forks."

I didn't understand. My heart beats were pounding in my ears all at once; the room was spinning; my mind was in utter chaos, unable to tame my racing thoughts. I could see her lips moving. But I didn't understand what had came out of her mouth. Edward was coming. Edward was coming _here_. To Forks. Edward was coming to Forks.

_Oh my god. What do I tell Jake? _The image of Jake's face once he learned of my recollections of Edward that I'd kept hidden from him for a reason I still couldn't fully comprehend flashed through my mind. Such pain, shock, betrayal…and fear; fear that he was never enough that I would always love Edward more. He'd been treating our relationship delicately as if my love would be snatched from him in a blink of an eye. I could only imagine his reaction to me informing him of Edward's return. He was coming to Forks. No matter how many times I replayed that measly sentence, I couldn't grasp what was happening. I was afraid my heart had stopped; I couldn't hear my heart beats anymore. I couldn't breathe. Edward is coming to Forks. Edward is coming to Forks. He would see me with Jake. He would see Alice staying with me and Charlie. He would see the entire wolf pack. He would see _everything_.

But why would he come back?

"He thinks you're dead." I gapped at her. "I told Rosalie of the vision I had of you jumping off a cliff and she finally tracked Edward down. He was already running in our direction when he called me from Portland, Oregon to confirm your death. I told him you were alive but he insisted on seeing you for himself." I continued to stare at her. My eyes weren't blinking.

This didn't make any sense. Portland was so close to Forks. Too close.

"But...if…if Edward knew I was fine-even before he knew I was fine-why…why would he care? He doesn't love me. He doesn't want me." The look on Alice's face reflected the pain of heartbreak and secrecy. The pain I feel quake in my chest every time Jake kisses me, and every time I close my eyes without Jake's presence beside me to keep the nightmares away, and every time I've been away from Jake for too long reflected in Alice's eyes. I couldn't have Edward…and Jake took away the pain. He made it easier to breathe; he made it possible for me to believe I would survive the day.

"Oh Bella," Alice's voice, full of empathy and sadness, broke through my thoughts. The expression on her face didn't quite measure up to the fierceness of her eyes. She knew the pain I'd been subdued to and had the classic look of a murderer, a warning to those who would hurt me in the near future. She knew I didn't want Edward here. I didn't want Edward to find me because though he'd be able to walk away from me once he's ensured my safety…I wasn't sure I'd be able to let him go. Not again. Then there was my hero.

Jake.

A huge part of me yearned for him. But only because I couldn't have what I truly wanted. It was cruel and I am the only one to blame for the pain that I was sure would sour any chance of a happy ending when this was over. Just me and my selfishness. I wasn't a man-eater but much worse-a heartbreaker.

_No. No. No._ Edward couldn't come here. Edward couldn't come claim a heart I'd promised to someone else. I would never forgive myself for hurting my hero, the one who sacrificed himself to save me.

_Edward saved you too._ And much as I hated to admit it, that was true. I was the monkey between both my heroes. Two hearts that I had the power to break with a single choice. Who could make a decision like this? Why me? I was just fine living in blissful ignorance...with Jacob. Edward was better off as a vague ache in my chest, nothing more for the sake of my sanity and emotional well being.

"C-Call him back. S-Stop him. Edward can't come here!" Alice's expression hadn't changed from my last attempt to change what was happening. I knew he was coming. I knew he'd be here soon. I watched Alice fidget, the motion unusual to me…supernatural creatures with the grace of a ballet dancer do _not_ fidget. It was as if she was hinting to the secrets she was hiding. I wasn't sure I wanted to ask. "What is it, Alice?" I whispered.

There was a slight release in the way she exhaled; it was also unnecessary and part of the body language she was using to communicate with me. I wasn't getting the message. "Edward…knows you lost your memory…and he doesn't want you to forget him." Is that not why he left?

"Edward…told me to forget him," I mumbled pathetically. Alice's hand touched my arm gently like she was handling glass.

"Relax, Bella. I'll keep him away. I promise, you won't see him." But he could see me. It went unsaid but lied between the lines. She promised I wouldn't see him. But I was human; my eyes were limited in ways the eyes of vampires weren't. Edward would see me, make sure I was well and safe, then he'd vanish back into the his feeble existence in my thoughts. He'd leave again. But I wouldn't see him...I wouldn't know he was watching...there'd be no harm done.

"Promise?" I barely managed to whisper through my whirl of thoughts.

"If it's truly what you want, Bella...I promise." The look on her face only mirrored the truth I was denying myself. I wouldn't let myself process what my next words would mean. I didn't care. Correction: I didn't _want_ to care.

"It's what I want."


End file.
